Funerals in my book, fall under the social situations that make me antsy. It’s not just the loss and realization that a loved one is gone but also the realization that life is as fleeting as time.
I have only a recollection of one, that of my late grandfather. I was too young then. Young enough to understand what was happening but not old enough to grasp the magnitude of the situation. Until recently, now I’m old enough to understand grief and the entire process of having someone then not having them anymore.
Back to funerals. I never did and perhaps will never understand why one would say nice things when you can’t hear them. I know its to pay tribute to the deceased but it beats sense that the one being praised won’t hear. And no, imagining that they are hovering somewhere in the air does not count. If the same people could not say the same things to you while you were alive, then they should keep them to themselves when you are gone.
We idolize loved ones when they are gone yet had taken them for granted when in life. I think of funerals for the living and not for the dead. Because it is at that point that the reality of our lives sinks in. How easily we will leave just as we came. In case some of us are beginning to get too comfortable here. It is nice to hear nice things about the departed ones but it would be nice to have told them when we had the chance.
So I begin grappling with the whole notion of death and life. They say if you think too much about death you forget to live. But if you don’t think about death then you forget to plan and live well. It’s necessary to accept that we are not to spend much time here while still trying to live as well and as much as we can.Death comes in many forms. Sometimes its sudden, sometimes one gets a form of preparation but once it hits the reaction is the same. One of jolting shocking realization. One day we will be in a casket while the people around us say things we perhaps never got to hear.