There is a reason why I would not go to the cinema to watch a movie. See, I’m terribly afraid. Afraid that the movie will appeal to my emotional side and I’ll end up releasing the water works and having to sniff through the end of the movie. All the while dabbing my nose and looking around to see if anyone is looking my way. It would be worse if i had a date and i have to do all this while making sure i do not get a panda situation.That’s no way to enjoy a movie.
I have realized how emotional events deeply affect me. Embarrassingly most of the times. There’s nothing cute about getting teary every time I read or watch something that tickles whatever that part is in my brain that is responsible for emotions.I don’t want to be caught choking on my words when the conductor asks for my fare in the bus because that book has me so carried away. So in a bid to cope I have to really and I mean extreme concentration kind of really try hard to keep them in check.
No, I’m not suffering from depression or any other condition a specialist might think to assign to me. I’m a fully functioning young adult with some quirks .( nothing strangely unusual). This is just one of those things that just is. Granted, as a woman there are times that the emotional radar is particularly on red alert but that also comes with a myriad of other variations like sadness or anger and all those mood swings that we love to hate.
The tearing up though, that’s a constant all year round thing that has no vacation time. So, instead of trying hard to fight it I’m trying to embrace it. Writing about it here is one. Maybe if other people can read it it becomes less of an embarrassment and more of a thing. I’ll call it a thing.. It sounds less threatening to me that way. The beauty is I don’t tear up in professional situations. I’d have no idea what to say about why all of a sudden my eyes look a shimmery shade of clear liquid.
Anyway, as I’m writing this I’m in the middle of watching a movie and I can feel the familiar tickle in my eyes. Its not a tickle really..more like a sudden or gradual filling of liquid then the feeling follows. Now I’m blabbering but I know I cannot possibly be the only one who experiences this. It would be really nice If I could find people equally facing the same uum..problem. Now I don’t know how to end this banter so I’ll just put a stop to this.