I lie when I think this has been a beautiful year. Quite frankly it has been very far from what I think is ideal. It has been gut wrenching crazy slow and annoyingly dreadful. Half of the time I’ve felt borderline depressed ,angry , disappointed and yes, I know at this age I should not be harbouring such thoughts within myself.
Its just the way it is. Moving from a structured life is never easy. All of a sudden you are faced with different choices different actions to take and no prior experience. So you start learning all over again, its not easy and everything seems in a state of imbalance and for one who likes a bit of grounding its overwhelming. But so is life, you deal.
So I decided to rant out here because I think some 20 something year olds can relate. You are told you are an adult and can make your own decisions but still not allowed to exercise this freedom. On one hand, people think your youth is to be envied. Fewer responsibilities they say. That’s far from the truth. With fewer responsibilities comes the uncertainty of every aspect in your life. What career to pursue, if you are lucky to have one, what relationships to pursue, what to do with yourself every other time and yes, there is the advantage of time but no one wants to go through life making mistakes just because they can.
It has been a long year, its coming to an end and hopefully take its turmoil with it. So I’m taking stock. Eliminating the barriers and sticking to what has worked so I have more time and energy to deal with the unexpected in life. Because there will always be unexpected events and I’ll need all the mental energy to handle it next year.
This is for the young ones, youth is beautiful only if you learn to use it to your best advantage. It’s going to take some falling face down hard and sometimes not wanting to get up. When this happens, you pull yourself up, it doesn’t matter if it takes you an excruciatingly long amount of time, you do it and you chase after whatever it is you wanted. You are not going to be young forever. Work with it.